


I'm a Bit More Refined in My Recent Years

by jellytea



Category: Big Time Rush
Genre: Big Time Bang 2012, CRACK FRIENDS!Au, F/F, F/M, Gen, Lucy and Camille are both yodas basically in this, M/M, and Carlos being a cool mofo, and James being a little OOC since he's a little insecure, and Kendall being a general spazz, and Logan kind of indulging his jackass tendencies, but there's a lot of hanging out in coffee shops, no hockey unfortunately, or singing, set in New York City, they're all in the mid-twenties
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-26
Updated: 2012-09-26
Packaged: 2017-11-15 02:01:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/521942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jellytea/pseuds/jellytea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>BTR Friends!AU. The shenanigans of James, Kendall, Logan, and Carlos the day after Logan moves in with Kendall and Camille and reappears into James’ life. Pure schmoop.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part One

**Author's Note:**

> For the Big Time Bang (to be found at bigtimebang.livejournal.com)
> 
> Betaed by Angie (nditsjustmyself) and artwork done magnificently by Sonja (deadpetsparky)
> 
> Also, title is from Drake Bell's "It's Only Time."
> 
> Again, I do not own either FRIENDS or Big Time Rush.

“You know, baking and wearing an apron probably says more about you and your sexuality than you’d think,” James commented, as he watched Kendall arrange a platter of toffee brownies in the bakery display.

Kendall grunted and glared at him. James poking fun at Kendall’s once, albeit drunken, confession that he thought Carlos was supremely attractive, was practically a daily morning ritual. “If you want to taste test my oatmeal cookies, then be nicer.”

James immediately plastered on a toothy smile. “And this is why you’re my best friend.”

“I’m not your best friend,” Kendall snorted. “Carlos is – he won you fair and square.” Not that he was bitter or anything; he just wished he’d properly thought through the taking sides against Carlos’ immense collection of purple clothing during the Closet Cleaning of 2012. But, to be fair, once James had gotten involved in what turned out to be the clothes equivalent of a food fight, Kendall knew that he was toast. 

“I feel like I should be more offended about that than I am,” James shrugged. “Ah, well. You were always stingy with the clothes sharing.” Kendall waved an apple tart enticingly in front of the brunette.

“Like I said, be nice,” he frowned. James just laughed and pried the tart from the tongs, biting into half of it before Kendall could grab it back. “It’ll take you an hour to work off those calories,” he snipped. James made a gleeful face and smacked his lips together. Appreciating Kendall’s baking always did wonders at soothing his ego.

“Oh, right, I forgot to mention. My old high school friend is moving into my apartment sometime this week,” Kendall said, moving on to the next display of muffins. “’Los is helping him move in his boxes. You too.”

“Sure, Kendall, no problem, let me just move around my entire work schedule for your benefit,” 

James rolled his eyes. “I thought Camille was your roommate – is she moving out? Moving in with Jo?”

Kendall scowled. The topic of his ex-girlfriend (who’d previously disclosed that she wasn’t the long relationship type, and with whom he’d had an on-again, off-again thing for a year and a half) finding romantic bliss with fledging actress-slash-provider of blueberry muffins Camille Baker (monogamy bliss that had lasted for two years now) was a sore one. “No, she isn’t moving out. She is going through an audition rut right now and it wouldn’t hurt to have some help in making the rent every month, so I figured a third roommate would do the trick.”

“And this would have nothing to do with the fact that having a third roommate would make things less considerably awkward for when Jo comes over to snuggle with Camille during movie marathons?”

“Don’t you have a client meeting in like thirty minutes?” Kendall asked, ignoring the question like the mature man he was. “I hear traffic is a bitch in the mornings.”

“Which is why I have my bike,” James shrugged. 

“Lucy’s has the morning shift today,” Kendall grinned.

James made a panicked face and hopped off the stool. “Yeah, I should get going. Um, and when you could, try and casually tell Lucy that I really wasn’t hitting on her on her first day of work, and that I’m really more interested in boys than in girls.”

“I refuse to be a part of your devious schemes,” Kendall said loftily. “Besides, I like it that you’re scared shitless of a tiny woman like Lucy. And you’re a liar – you’ve never been one to limit yourself to one gender. What was it you said? You’re an equal opportunist?”

“Leaving!” James threw over his shoulder as he basically ran out of the shop’s door. Kendall grinned and finished arranging the display of baked goods. That story would never get old. 

 

“Go away,” Kendall said the minute Mercedes waltzed up to the register. Her mouth dropped open in shock. 

“Excuse me? Is this how you address customers?” she asked. “Hold on, babe, I’ll call you back, I just met the king of all asshole baristas.” She snapped the case of her phone shut over the screen and leveled Kendall with a glare.

He refused to back down. “Last time you came here, you ordered a venti half-cap, triple-foam, skinny latte with two pumps of sugar-free vanilla and a shot of espresso, extra hot. If you want that kind of crap, I suggest you head down to the Starbucks across the street. Here, we have drip coffees, lattes, au laits, and the occasional green tea latte.” 

“I did wonder why I’d paid so much for a horrible cup of coffee,” Mercedes frowned.

“That wasn’t coffee!” Kendall shouted, scandalized. “That was dessert in a cup! Go away! I am the head barista of this establishment and I can turn away customers!” 

Lucy turned around from where she was wiping down the milk steamer and gave him a pitying gaze. “Oh, sweetie,” she rolled her eyes. “Where exactly did you put your balls? Man up and remember you’re the owner of this place. Also, she’s dating that guitarist that performs here on Thursdays.”

Kendall’s jaw dropped open. Mercedes merely put her hands on her hips and waited for him to finish panting. “Skim latte in the largest size you have.” She wiggled her credit card in his face. “Chop chop.”

Kendall glared at her, dropped his gaze to the card, looked back up, saw her smirking, stuck out his tongue, and yanked a Styrofoam cup from the dispenser. He angrily scrawled latte for minion across the side and grumbled, “That’ll be three dollars.”

She smiled serenely and slid open her phone case. “That’s a good boy. And I’ll let Casper know you say hi.” 

He remained grumpy the rest of the day. 

 

Sometimes, James really hated New Yorkers. They were an entirely different breed of people than Minnesotans: impatient, judgmental, and they took leering to a whole new level. And they also, on too often occasion, were prone to spilling things on James. 

Carlos was used to James’ desperate calls for help. Literally; he’d looked at his watch when James had called, his voice squeaking, and it was one-twenty-five on the dot. 

“Just switch out your morning routine of picking up a McMuffin and you’ll be sure to lose five pounds after the first two weeks, I said. Resist snacking at night and swap out chips for flavored tea and you’ll lose five pounds after a month, I said. Is that hard to understand?” James griped over the phone. He turned his wrist over to look at his watch and groaned. “God, it’s only eleven-thirty. Sometimes, you know, I really hate my job.”

“You always say that,” Carlos laughed, and James could practically picture his roommate sprawled across their living room couch, either playing video games or munching on a giant bag of potato chips. “You have a long lunch break today, right? I think Kendall’s new roommate is moving in, and he promised me pizza and beer if I helped his friend move in. Help me,” he wheedled. “I’m so little, I can’t possibly move all those boxes by myself.”

“Boxes?”

“Yeah, movers have been coming by for the past hour, dropping off giant boxes and squeezing in a huge mattress that’s bigger than me. I’m supposed to be manning Kendall’s door, ‘cause he’s finishing his morning shift.”

“Good to know my skills of tallness and organization are in dire need,” James said dryly. “I’m about a block away from the apartment. Meet you at Kendall’s?”

“The door’s open,” Carlos said airily before hanging up. James laughed and slipped his phone into the pocket of his workout shorts. He quickened his pace, nearly jogging, his mouth practically drooling at the thought of pizza. And since it was Kendall who was picking up the pizza, it was for sure going to be some rendition of chewy and veggie-laden – just what would be the thing to perk up his lousy mood.

He made sure to pick up the mail before taking the stairs two at a time, and so had his head down and hands occupied when he swung around the corner. Which meant of course that he would slam into someone.

“Oof!” James stumbled back, dropping envelopes and magazines on the ground. He shook his hair out of his eyes and looked up. “Sorry, I wasn’t—” His mouth dropped open, and his unfinished apology hung in the air. “Logan?”

“Yeah?” the guy grunted, dusting at the seat of his pants. He looked up and squinted at James, making that hold-on-why-do-I-recognize-you face.

“James, you are a stellar human being,” Carlos grinned, poking his head out from Kendall’s doorway.

James was not the awkward fat kid that he used to be in high school. He had a perfectly good job as a personal trainer and he was sexy, dammit, he just went on a date last week, with groping and everything. There was no real reason for him to be standing in front of Logan, gobsmacked and silent, who apparently decided to move in across the hall on one of the worst days of James’ life. Because of course.

“So, uh, you gonna help me move Logan’s boxes?” Carlos asked, his voice sounding both frown-y and muffled as he wrestled with one of the larger boxes unfortunately labeled books, as the pause lengthened from apologetic to awkwardly long. “Or am I going to need to interrupt Kendall while he’s roasting his specialty coffee beans and have him big-speech you into being helpful?”

“Oh, right!” James said loudly, moving forwards to intercept Carlos from throwing out his back or something equally awful. He hadn't counted on Logan moving forwards as well, his eyes lighting up and a pleased “You’re James!” cry of recognition.

The two boys ended up pressed against each other, Logan’s hand caught in between their bodies, casually resting against James’ crotch. The smaller boy let out a yelp and took a giant step back, blushing to the roots of his hair.

“God, I’m sorry,” he started blabbering. “I didn’t mean to molest you. Not that I molested you, really, it was just, my hand, your crotch, high school, I remembered and stepped towards you –”  
James started laughing. In all the scenarios he’d imagined meeting his high school crush, he’d never imagined it would’ve been Logan who was awkward and stumbling over his words and generally wishing the floor would open up and swallow him whole. It was strangely soothing. “Don’t worry about it; Carlos has done a lot worse.”

“I am a passionate Latino!” Carlos called from the depths of Kendall’s – and now Logan’s, he realized – apartment. James lifted an eyebrow pointedly and was gratified to see Logan crack a smile.

“And, yes, direct me to whatever room all this should go into,” James said, leaning down to gather the rest of the spilled mail before piling it all on top of a box and hauling it towards the kitchen table. Logan nodded and shuffled in after James, rubbing at the back of his neck.

“I almost didn’t recognize you,” Logan admitted. “Your hair is...different. But I recognized the bandana.”

James’ hand flew up to his hair and belatedly he remembered that he’d tied a garishly orange bandanna around his hair, which probably meant that he had some sort of attractive rattail going on. Good one, James, good one.

“Heh, yeah,” he said awkwardly. “Anyway. Room?”

“The first one to the right. Camille and Kendall had been using it for storage, but now it’s all mine,” Logan grinned. And yup, there was that smile, the one that James had daydreamed about for ridiculous lengths of time all throughout high school. 

 

Someone cleared his throat behind James. “You dropped this, man.” 

James looked over his shoulder to mumble a quiet “thanks” – until he realized that Logan Mitchell was the one standing behind him, holding up a worn notebook with a friendly smile on his face. 

“T-thanks,” he stuttered, snatching the notebook from the beautiful boy and cradling it against his chest.

“No problem. James, right? You came over with your mom when she brought over that volcanic face wash thing for my mom,” Logan said cheerfully.

James nodded, biting his lip, to keep himself from blurting out something embarrassing like, “I love you.” His heart was beating so loud, though, that he was surprised Logan couldn’t pick up on it. Thankfully, even though his cheeks felt hot, he hadn’t started sweating yet.

“You wrote a good paper, by the way,” Logan said. James blushed. They’d been in the same editing group in English class, but it’d been a group of four, and Kendall was part of it, so James s surprised Logan had paid him any attention. “Well, I’d better go. I’ve got a tutoring session in about ten minutes.”

“Bye,” James whispered after Logan’s retreating back. He clutched his notebook even tighter. This had been the longest conversation he’d had with him since the sixth grade when Logan had complimented him on his dinosaur themed lunchbox. 

Logan had the greatest smile in the world. Those dimples and the crooked curve of his mouth… James shook his head, and firmly told himself to get a grip. Logan was best friends with Kendall Knight, the school’s all star hockey player, and the hockey team at Minnesota High was practically royalty. 

Royalty definitely didn’t hang out with overweight and socially awkward rejects like James Diamond. Not even when his mom was the richest businesswoman in Rochester and they had the biggest house in town.

“Ow! Did you just poke me?” James demanded, rubbing at his arm. 

Carlos smiled innocently. “You were zoning out, man. I was worried that you’d fall and hurt yourself.”

“Why would you think that?”

“Because you almost ran into the couch,” Carlos grinned and pointed. 

James scowled and edged away from the massive couch that took up more than a quarter of the living room. “I have to a box to put away,” he said primly. “You’re in the way.” 

 

Three hours later, Logan, Carlos, and James had finally finished unpacking all of Logan’s boxes and setting up his room. (James had gotten a call from the manager of his gym that his only afternoon appointment was rescheduled for next week, and Carlos had wheedled him into helping the two of them finish the moving in process. Carlos owed him a month of cleaning the bathroom.) 

Conveniently, right as they flopped down onto the couch in exhaustion, Kendall and Camille walked, whistling, into the apartment.

“Oh, thanks so much, you’re right on time,” Logan said sarcastically. 

“Camille brought muffins,” Kendall announced. “You’re all very welcome.”

Camille rolled her eyes and pushed her way past Kendall to wrap Carlos into a hug. “I made blueberry and lemon. You boys have been doing such hard work I decided a sugar rush was exactly what you needed.”

James paused mid-reach for a muffin and asked suspiciously, “Why, exactly?”

She just smiled widely. Her smile got even bigger when Logan stuck out his hand to shake hers before grabbing a muffin.

“I’m Logan,” he introduced himself. “Thanks for letting me stay here.”

“Oh, no problem!” she waved him away. “Do you have any plans for tonight? We should have hangout as new roommates.”

“She’s a tank,” Kendall cautioned. “I almost died the first time we drank together,” he said, almost reverently. 

“You were insane that night,” James laughed, remembering how Kendall had started picking fights with trees – and then proceeded to apologize to them for ripping out the little bowls of flowers that hung from them.

“Oh, belligerent drunken Kendall,” Logan said, shaking his head. “You’re exactly the same as you were in high school.” 

Kendall grinned cheesily and Logan leaned over to pet him.

“You got sugar on my cheek!” Kendall yelped.

“Whoops,” Logan said. He made a face. “I’m not normally a messy eater. Hold up, let me wash my hands.” He pushed his chair out and headed over to the bathroom. 

“Now give me the dirt on the new boy. He’s a cutie,” she commented as soon as the bathroom door closed. 

“Eyes on one girl at a time,” Kendall reminded her. “And you are way too much of a spitfire for Logan. And even if you weren’t dating Jo, he’s one of those date-his-exact-replica kind of guys.”

“Spitfire? Really? Are we in the fifties?” she giggled. And then her eyebrows furrowed. “So he just dates other doctor-to-bes?”

James frowned and busied himself by pouring a glass of milk.

“Not exactly,” Kendall said. “Just, you know, super smart, super motivated, super anal.”

James downed the glass in one gulp.

“Anal,” she giggled. 

He just sighed. “But now that I think about it, I don’t think he’s been in a serious relationship since he graduated college.”

“Hmm,” she nodded. “So no exes that are lingering in his mind?”

“No,” Kendall shook his head. Then he turned around and stared at her incredulously. “What are you thinking? Is something bad going to happen? Will I be doomed to be sexiled until I gather enough money to live on my own?” By the end of his speech, he’d dropped his head on the kitchen table and was pounding against its surface.

James and Camille just looked at each other.

“And I thought Carlos was the dramatic one,” she mused after a long beat of silence.

 

Almost a month later and Logan was feeling good about New York. There’d been the occasional terrifying incidents where he’d gotten on the wrong subway and had nearly went to Brooklyn, but other than being accosted by hobos every morning and making sure not to drink all of Kendall’s soy milk, he was finally feeling like New York was home.

But then again, there were days like these that made him want to throw his little residency badge into the air and run back to Chicago. At least there he didn’t have to deal with prima donna movie stars who refused to listen and kept making innuendos at him when they were supposed to be compiling research for their upcoming hospital drama. 

“Mr. Mitchell,” Dak said charmingly, flashing him a patented Dak Zevon smile, one of five that was sure to send any fan girl (or fan boy) into a squealing tizzy.

Logan looked up from his clipboard and groaned. “Dak, I’m running on about forty minutes of sleep here and, honestly, I do not have time to deal with your diva bullshit. What do you want?”

Dak pouted. “You’re being crap at the whole mentor thing, you know.”

“Yes, well, talk to me tomorrow,” Logan said briskly. “Now, since you’re playing a nurse in your new movie, first what you have to do is get yourself acquainted with the layout of the hospital.”

“I’d love to get acquainted with the layout of this room, doctor,” Dak drawled, leaning back against one of bunk beds.

Logan blinked. “This is the resident’s room. Anytime someone has a break and wants to catch up on some shut-eye, we come here.”

“You’re a little oblivious, aren’t you?” Dak grinned. When Logan gave him a are you shitting me? look, he reached over to yank the brunette close. “You’re cute, Mr. Mitchell.” 

Logan looked down at the hand fisted in the front of his scrubs, brow furrowing. “Is this some sort of can-I-deal-with-a-movie-star test?”

“Nope,” Dak shook his head. “This is more of a I’m-gonna-kiss-you thing.”

“Oh,” Logan squeaked. His mind was a little bit blown; this was definitely the last thing he expected when he’d been assigned the job to placate the spoiled actor for the next five weeks. “Okay.” The said movie star laughed, tugged Logan a little closer, and kissed him. 

Needless to say, that was probably one of the best kisses Logan had had in a while. 

 

Carlos was whistling as he rummaged through his duffel for his apartment keys. Once he wrestled the door open – one of these days, they were going to have the handyman finally fix their door – he yelled out, “Let’s make margaritas tonight!”

“What’s the occasion?” James asked from his sprawl across the couch, his voice muffled because he was currently face down in a large pile of cushions. Carlos walked over and tentatively poked his roommate in the shoulder.

“You okay, man?”

“I’ve reverted back to my loser high school days,” James groaned. “So I would prefer if we could hold the margaritas and just bring on the tequila.” 

Carlos nodded seriously and grabbed two large tumblers, along with the bottle of Patron that had been gathering dust on top of the fridge and a few bottles of Merlot that he’d been gifted with. “Let’s start with the wine.”

And an hour and half, a third of a bottle of Patron, and two bottles of wine later… 

James was splayed across the floor, clutching his glass, and staring up at the ceiling. Carlos was draped across the arm of the couch, one leg hooked around the back. He’d given up on holding his cup, because it being fussy and falling out of his hand.

“Kendall’s so pretty,” Carlos piped up. 

“It’s his eyebrows,” James offered. “My mom told me the first time I met him, I poked them. Those mystical things.”

“Logan’s pretty too,” Carlos said. When James let out a groan, Carlos lifted his head up and added, “You’re prettier. So much more prettier. And you know what you should do?”

“You’re so great,” James smiled blearily. “You come up with really good plans.”

“You should just grab Logan and make out with his face,” Carlos suggested. “He looks like he likes aggressive-y stuff.”

“I can’t!” James wailed. “I love that face. I can’t just make out with it!”

“I totally would,” Carlos blustered. 

“No, no, no,” James shook his head. “You belong to Kendall. I know he likes you. He gave you an extra piece of pie yesterday.”

“He always gives me an extra piece of pie.”

“Exactly! Because he loves you,” James said, satisfied. He lifted his head and looked at his glass. That was weird. “I’m all empty. Did you drink this?” 

All he got in response was a loud snore.


	2. Part Two

Lucy turned around from the cappuccino machine to find the corner nook of armchairs completely overtaken by Carlos, Kendall, Logan, James, and Casper. They weren’t talking to each other, per say, just volleying back and forth random blurts. The only surprising thing about this collective gathering was that it was the end of a work day. 

“Before Casper, I thought that those four were this tightly ingrained group of boys,” Jo commented from her seat at the bar. “Kendall talked about Logan a lot when we used to date,” she explained. Lucy nodded and motioned for her to continue. “But I think they just have that personality, where they make immediate, long lasting friends with anyone they meet.”

“You’ve got the long lasting bit right,” Lucy said wryly. “I don’t think I’ll ever get rid of them.” Jo giggled in agreement. 

At that moment, the bell over the front doors jingled. Lucy looked up to see a ridiculously pretty girl drop her multiple canvas bags onto the ground and strike a pose. She mouthed “who is that?” to Jo, only to get a wink and a “you’ll see.”

“At least you decided against the swirly slide, big brother. But, you know, the Palmwoods makes this sound more like a spa than a coffee shop.”

Kendall whipped around and broke out into a giant grin. “Katie!” he shouted and then leapt up from his seat and bounded over to her, wrapping her up into a giant hug.

“You’re a goon. Put me down,” she laughed, smacking him in the arm. He did, but only to drag her over to the couches he’d just jumped up from.

“Guys, this is my baby sister, Katie,” he beamed. “She’s a genius.”

“Well,” she preened. “It’s true.”

“She just graduated from Columbia with honors. And she’s a working girl, and friends with, like, half of New York City,” Kendall said excitedly. “She got all the smart genes in the Knight family.” 

Carlos shoved the blond aside to hug Katie. “There’s my favorite girl!” He gently pushed her down into his chair. “I’m gonna get you some cakes and tea. And you’ve got to meet Lucy.” 

“Hi, I’m Lucy,” Lucy waved, helping Carlos stack slices of green apple pie onto a giant plate.

“She’s exactly like you,” Kendall nodded. “Evil and manipulative.”

“Hey!” Katie swatted his arm. “So, introduce me to your friends, Kendall. It’s just like the first day of school, all over again.”

“That’s Casper, with the long hair. He plays guitar and the coolest guy I know. An interesting fact is that his girlfriend is quite possibly Satan reincarnated,” he reported.

“Dude,” Casper rolled his eyes. He nodded at Katie. “She’s really not. She just made Kendall cry once and he’s never forgiven him for that.”

Kendall aggressively cleared his throat. “And this is James. Do you remember James Diamond? He went to school with us.”

Katie’s eyes brightened in recognition. “Oh, hey!” She turned to Jo, who had set up a chair next to her. “He was king of the school senior year. He lost all of his baby fat and turned into this ridiculously good-looking hunk.”

James blushed. “That’s not quite how I remember it, Katie.” He reddened even more when he caught Logan looking at him appraisingly, as if trying to remember the last year of high school.

“Anyway,” Kendall interrupted. “How long are you staying, Katie?” 

 

“So, when were you going to tell me about you and Carlos?” Katie teased. She had finished stowing her duffel bags under Kendall’s bed and was now curled up on the couch, makeup scrubbed off and hair tied up in a messy bun. Kendall was taken aback at just how young she looked, and felt a wave of nostalgia; up until he left for New York, the two of them had spent almost every night, either in person or via Skype, chatting about inane things and singing old nineties pop songs before falling asleep.

He looked oddly at her. “What are you talking about, me and Carlos?”

“Oh, come on! I’m sure both of you are very tactile people, but at one point, you actually ran your hand up Carlos’ leg. And you practically have stars in your eyes whenever you look anywhere in his direction,” she said. 

He just gaped at her. “That – what – that never happened!” 

“Ooh, are we talking about Kendall’s giant crush on one Carlos Garcia?” Camille asked excitedly. She skipped over to the couch and flopped down in between Katie and Kendall. “Hi, gorgeous. Jo told me she saw your grand entrance. I’ve missed you,” she said, leaning over to kiss Katie on the cheek.

“I do not have a crush on him!” Kendall whined. “He’s just so small and cute, and he helped out a lot with getting the Palmwoods off the ground.”

“Cute, ey?” Camille asked evilly. She and Katie giggled. “James told us about your drunken confession. It’s just a shame he didn’t manage to get it on video, because, really, Kendall you shouldn’t be bottling up your feelings like this.”

“I need to get drunk to continue with this conversation,” Kendall moaned. He craned his neck to see what the closest alcohol was and practically cackled when the nearest bottle was a bottle of wine. 

 

By the next morning, Kendall had an entire notebook filled with advice from Katie and Camille, ideas and ways of wooing Carlos and convincing him that Kendall was the only man for him. And by advice, what he meant was a bunch of scribbles that vaguely resembled words with some very aggressive punctation. He desperately flipped through the notebook, squinting at the pages, trying to see if there was at least one nugget of advice that he could decipher and attempt to use.

Behold: there wasn’t. What the heck had he written? Did he write down “albatross”? 

“Hey-o!” Carlos called as he walked into the shop. He pulled his messenger bag over his head and grabbed his apron off the wall hook. “I’ve got a stunt job at one, so I’m only here for a half day, boss.”

“Heh, heh,” Kendall laughed haltingly. He could be cool and nonchalant. This was Carlos, who he worked with for the past six years, who he’d had a raging crush on for the past five years and seven months. This was no problem. 

“Want to try my newest creation?” Kendall asked awkwardly, tearing his eyes away from Carlos’ biceps. “It’s cinnamon sugar donuts.”

Carlos beamed and bounded over to him. “Ahh,” he said, opening his mouth, gesturing for Kendall to pop a donut into it. 

Kendall let out another nervous “heh” and tore off a piece of donut and held it out to Carlos. Carlos just rolled his eyes and grabbed at the proffered treat. Kendall thought his heart might beat right out of his chest because Carlos was still holding onto his wrist.

“Nice. They kind of taste like apple fritters,” he nodded. He started patting at his mouth. “What? Why are you looking at me? Do I have something on my face?”

“You, um, have some sugar on your lip,” Kendall said, pointing.

“Yeah?” Carlos’ tongue darted out to catch at the tip of his mouth and all of sudden, Kendall couldn’t resist the energetic, gorgeous man any longer. He ducked his head and pressed his lips against Carlos’ – and then froze. 

“Um,” he began, jerking away from Carlos. “I, uh, wanted to get the sugar off in a, erm, helpful manner.”

Carlos shook his head and smiled fondly at the blond. “Oh, shush, you big goober.” He curled his hand around the back of Kendall’s neck and tugged him forwards. “I was wondering when you’d get around to making your move.”

“My move?” Kendall asked blankly. “You knew that I liked you?”

Carlos shook his head, grinning. “No, but I’d hoped. And Katie told me to get my chapstick ready the next time I saw you, so I was really hoping that that was why.”

Kendall laughed and wrapped his arms even more securely around Carlos’ waist. “This is good.” He kissed him again. “Let’s get dinner tomorrow night. Like a date type of dinner.”

“Okay!” Carlos nodded enthusiastically. He nuzzled Kendall’s neck, right at the crook between neck and shoulder. “How much time do we have until we officially open the shop for business?”

Before Kendall could respond, Mercedes waltzed into the Palmwoods, talking loudly on her phone. He groaned and pressed a kiss to the top of Carlos’ head. “I guess now’s the time to deal with the caffeine-hungry people.”

 

“So, I’m leaving for Vancouver,” Dak said breathlessly.

Logan looked up at him from his position at Dak’s hip and pouted. “What exactly is it that I doing reminding you of Canada?” He unfurled himself and lifted himself up onto his knees, bending down to press openmouthed kisses over exposed skin as he made his way from Dak’s hip to neck, before greedily slanting his mouth over the other boy’s.

“I’m just saying,” Dak said once they broke apart for air.

“Yeah, yeah. You’ll soon be off to dreary Canada, and I’ll still be in New York, and we can’t possibly keep up this whatever we have, because I don’t do phone sex,” Logan nodded. “Now, shush, I’m doing my best moves here.”

 

“Camille Baker, how can I help?” Camille chirped into her Bluetooth. 

“I don’t know what to wear!” Kendall wailed into her ear.

“Kendall, sweetie, I need context. And come home, I’m trying out new sweet potato cake recipes.”

A moment later, he burst into the apartment. “I was already climbing up the stairs when I called,” he admitted sheepishly. His expression, however, quickly turned from a sheepish grin into one of wide-eyed freaking out. “I have a date with Carlos tonight and I don’t know what to wear!”

“You have a date with Carlos? I’m so happy for you!” she rubbed her flour-coated hands on her apron before enveloping him into a big hug. “But why are you so nervous? He already knows you dress like a hipster straight from the movies.”

“That is not helpful,” he frowned. “I made reservations at Remy’s because I know they make Carlos’ favorite crème brulee, but that’s fancy dress, and I think all of my nice shirts and pants are in the laundry.”

“Wasn’t the plan to make a really romantic homemade dinner? So you could seduce him with your chocolate cake?” she asked.

“I literally am meeting Carlos in three hours. Do we really have time for you to tell me everything I’ve already done prior to the date?”

“You’re pissy when you’re anxious,” Camille commented. She started washing her hands with soap. “Okay, let me just clean up so that I can rifle through your closet. Hey! Call James and see if he’s at home, so if you don’t have anything you can borrow something from him. You two are the same size, right?”

“But he wears leather pants,” Kendall protested. “I am definitely not wearing leather pants. They make me all sweaty and pasty looking.” 

 

He knocked on Carlos’ door, fussing with his collar and rocking back and forth on his heels as he waited for the door to open. It’d taken him and Camille about an hour to find something in his and Logan’s closets that they agreed looked good on him. So now he was wearing a black button up with gray suspenders and a jarringly bright pair of green trousers. (Camille had vetoed any and all of his own jeans, his one pair of nice dress pants had wine spilled on one leg, and Logan, for some unknown reason, actually had pants that were long enough to fit Kendall.) 

James opened the door and he stopped mid-munch on an apple when he saw Kendall standing there.

“You do realize you live maybe five steps away from here?” James smirked. “And nice pants, by the way. I almost didn’t see you there.”

“You do realize you have a bit of apple on your chin?” Kendall frowned. He felt mollified when James blushed and rubbed the back of his hand against his mouth. 

“Carlos! Kendall came to pick you up for dinner!” James shouted. 

Carlos leaned out from the bathroom and waved. “I’m almost done with my hair, I’ll be out super quick!” Kendall nodded and stuck his hands in his pant pockets, chewing at the inside of his mouth. 

James smirked and continued to stand there, eating his apple. 

“You planning on being there the whole night?” Kendall asked mildly. 

“I’ve got plans, but this is far more enjoyable,” James smiled.

“Oh, go away, you big bully,” Carlos snorted. 

“Hi,” Kendall said shyly once James had gone into his room. “I figured since this was an official date and all, I’d pick you up in front of your door.” He’d been feeling like a giant dork ever since James had opened the door, but he was mollified because of how happy Carlos was looking.

“So, where are we going?” 

“Remy’s.”

“Great! I’ve been wanting their lemon chicken for weeks now.”

“Good, good,” Kendall nodded. “You look nice.”

“You, too. Looks like we both got on colorful pants for tonight.” Both of them looked down at the other’s pants and burst out laughing when they realized they did it simultaneously. 

“Um, well,” Carlos cleared his throat. “Shall we go?”

Kendall nodded, but didn’t make any effort in moving his feet. Carlos was the first to move, actually, swaying towards Kendall, taking advantage of the other boy’s lidded staring at Carlos’ mouth. He stood up on his toes, pressed a hand against Kendall’s chest, and pressed his lips against the blond’s. Kendall smiled against Carlos’ lips – this was what he had been looking forward to all day. There was some tongue slippage and definitely a hand sliding into back pockets, and Kendall was seriously considering asking Carlos whether he’d be okay with canceling dinner plans. 

Until they heard a loud cough. He lifted his head up and turned around to see who he should be glaring at.

Camille was waving herself. “Whew, I knew you two would be hot, but man, that was quite a show.” 

“Why are you here?” he asked petulantly. 

“You forgot your jacket,” she said, holding out a woolen pea coat. “You’re so welcome.” 

 

Judging by the noises that had come from Carlos’ room last night, he and Kendall definitely had a good time at dinner. 

Thankfully, they’d settled down around two in the morning, which gave him just enough time for some shut eye before waking up for a workout. James zipped up his track jacket and stepped out into the hallway – only for his mouth to drop open at the sight in front of him. 

Logan, looking all rumpled, was attempting to sneak back into his apartment at five in the morning. He froze when he heard James close his door.

“I wasn’t aware you had a late shift tonight,” he said pointedly. “And I assume today was Casual Tuesday at the hospital?

Logan turned around and gave an awkward smile. “You’re up super early. Going for a run?”

James stalked towards the shorter man and he poked at Logan’s cowlick. “You’re doing a walk of shame, aren’t you? My, my, have the tables turned.”

“Oh, be quiet,” Logan said, annoyed. “Was it – oh yeah, it was totally two nights ago when I saw you and your GQ model date manhandle each other into your apartment.”

James made a face. “Touché.”

Logan sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “What are you doing up so early anyway?” He unlocked the door and motioned James to follow him into the kitchen.

“I was heading out for an early morning run. My entire day is jam packed with sessions, so I won’t have time for it like I usually do,” James explained. He held his hand up and caught the water bottle Logan hefted to him. “Thanks.”

Logan opened one for himself and took a swig out of it as he sat down at the table. 

James jiggled his knee, debating whether he wanted to open this particular can of worms. “So, what happened last night? Did you have fun?” 

 

“I can’t be his confidante anymore, I just can’t,” James said, anxiously rubbing his hands up and down his thighs. He ignored the snort that came from Lucy. She’d been passing by to collect the used plates and mugs from the tables around James and Camille, and her interest had been piqued when James started wailing. So after she dropped off the dirty dishes in the back, she came back and settled herself comfortably in an empty armchair.

“You’ve gone and friend-zoned yourself,” Lucy said solemnly. 

James glared at her. “Are you going to offer me any advice about this? Or just make fun of me?” 

Camille made a soothing noise. “I don’t know what to say. What do mean by “confidante”?” 

“He tells me of his sex-capades with that stupid actor guy – and now he’s sleeping with this other guy. How is he meeting all of them? And then he hugs me and he smells so good and I end up going to work in this haze of Logan lust,” James said morosely. “I’m doomed to be the on-the-side guy forever.”

“At least he trusts you,” Lucy said sagely. “You said that you two weren’t close in high school, and went to two different colleges. This is a major step, regardless of you not being able to get into his pants.”

“But I want to get into his pants,” he said sadly. “He has a fantastic butt.”

“You should just tell him how you feel,” Camille said firmly.

“Now you sound like Carlos,” James frowned. “And I think I would rather pine for him for the next nine years than have him look at me and gently let me down.” 

Lucy sighed. “James Diamond. You are an extremely good looking man, and you hide your neuroses really well.” She punched his shoulder when he attempted to wave away the compliment. “I think Logan is just a little confused right now. His relationship with Dak was this wildly exciting thing, and now that he’s gone, I think Logan’s just wants to keep up the pattern of regular sex that he’d been having.”

“You don’t think he’s pining after Dak?” he asked. 

Camille shook her head and placed a hand on his knee. “What you do need to stop doing is drinking yourself into oblivion and then making misplaced drunken calls.”

James gave her a shifty look. “I haven’t done that for months.”

“James.” 

 

“I need a date,” James announced. Mercedes and Casper, who had been sitting on one of the love chairs in the Palmwoods, both give him a weird look.

“Are you talking to us?” she asked.

“Yes! Who else would I be talking to?”

“But, I don’t know who you are,” she said slowly.

Casper laughed. “Sadie, this is Kendall’s neighbor, James. You’ve met him a couple times before. He’s a personal trainer,” he added when she continued to draw a blank. 

“Ooh, a personal trainer, huh? I can work with that.” 

 

James muted the TV, thinking he heard a knock at the front door. He padded over to the door when he heard a faint “it’s Logan!” and unlocked it to see Logan smiling tiredly up at James from his slump against their doorframe. “I forgot my key and I think Kendall’s out with Carlos. I’m completely wiped. Can I crash on your couch for the night?” 

James nodded wordlessly and silently cursed himself for thinking it’d be a good idea to bust out the rubber ducky patterned pajama pants. Logan clasped James’ shoulder in thanks and trudged over to the couch.

“Do you want something to eat?” James asked. Usually when Logan had finished a shift, he was starving and constantly burrowing into people’s pantries to find something to munch on.

“Nah,” Logan yawned. “I don’t have to go into the hospital until two tomorrow. Let’s watch something until I pass out.” He let out a grateful noise when James tugged the knit throw from the back of the couch over their shoulders. 

“I’ve got some Happy Endings DVRed,” James suggested. The other man nodded and dropped his head onto James’ shoulder, snuggling in close. He looked down at Logan’s face and had to physically restrain himself from trailing a finger across those amazing cheekbones. Tomorrow, he promised himself. He’d tell Logan tomorrow.

 

Logan yawned and stretched when he woke up the next morning. He scratched at his throat as he looked around James’ apartment. His gaze stuttered to a stop when he saw James slumped over the kitchen counter, a pad of paper tucked under his arm.

“Good morning, princess,” he called, wiggling out from the way too comfortable sofa. “Let’s grab breakfast.”

James lifted his head up from the counter and squinted at Logan, an action that shouldn’t have been as cute as it was. “I need to talk to you about something,” he said, his voice still gravely with sleep.

“Yeah?” Logan walked over to the fridge and pulled out a bottle of water. “Shoot.”

“Well, okay.” James exhaled loudly. “I’m just going to do it.”

“Do what? Come on, tell me.” Logan smiled encouragingly. 

“I had a date last night. Mercedes set me up with this entrepreneur she knew and he was cute. Super cute. He had a turned up nose and – never mind him. And he was this awesome, awesome guy: nice, funny, great arms, and he knew the difference between a Riesling and a Vinho Verde. He was basically perfect. But do you know why I was at home, alone, when you came over?”

Logan shook his head. “I don’t.” 

“Logan. I have the biggest crush on you,” James announced. Logan’s eyes widened. “I have since, ever since we were kids in high school. I think back then, it was because you were this adorable guy who was really nice to me. But now, now that we’re spending all this time together, I realize, I really like you.” 

“What – where is this coming from? Are you serious?” Logan asked. He was absolutely flabbergasted. 

James looked hurt. “It’s not like I expect anything –”

“You’re ridiculous. You are one of the most intimating people I have ever known,” Logan laughed. “Your arms are the size of my face. You make bandanas look fashionable. You are the sweetest man I know and you like me? I’m this complete wreck of anxiety and paranoia. I have these scheduled breaks on my phone that remind me to relax and think of happy things so I don’t freak out and have a panic attack.”

Both of their phones buzzed, shaking them out of whatever self-deprecating spell they’d been under.

Kendall texted me to text you both that he can hear every word you’re saying and that you’re idiots who deserve each other so just kiss and makeup before he comes out of Carlos’ room stark naked and shoves you out of the apartment. – Camille 

“Did you get Camille’s text?” James asked, lips quirking into a reluctant smile. Logan nodded. “So, you do like me.”

“Of course I do!”

“What about Dak and Jett? By the way, we need to make you stop dating guys with weirdly unisex names,” James said. 

“They’re in the past. So in the past,” Logan reassured him. He scooted around the counter until he was standing right next to James. “I like you. I want to know how far a relationship with you can go.” 

James broke out into a giant smile and gathered Logan into the tightest hug. “Okay,” he whispered. “Let’s do it.”


	3. Part Three

“You’ve got company,” Kendall called out as he opened his bathroom door. Camille poked her head out from behind the shower curtain and said, “Oh good. Can you hand me my razor? I forgot I left it on the sink.” He plucked the bright yellow razor from the toothbrush cup and leaned over to drop it into her outstretched hand.

“Can we talk about how ridiculously lovey-dovey James and Logan are?” Kendall asked. He squirted a blob of toothpaste onto his toothbrush and wiped away some steam from the mirror.

“They’re adorable. And you have to admit, it was a long time coming,” Camille said. 

“They’re literally just standing in the kitchen, waving at each other, and blushing,” he said, annoyed. “And how do you know? I grew up with the two of them.”

“Yes but you’re a boy, and therefore, useless in all aspects of love,” she said loftily.

“I cannot guarantee that there will be an onion bagel waiting for you when you come out,” Kendall said. “People who make fun of the people who supply the bagels for our weekly Bagel Party risk having her favorite bagel eaten in retribution.” 

“I will punch you in the nuts if you dare,” she threatened.

“Neener, neener,” he teased before sticking the toothbrush in his mouth. So he was caught a little unaware when Camille ripped back the shower curtain and splashed a cupful of water onto his face. 

Kendall let out a shriek. Out in the living room, James and Logan stared at each other, unsure whether or not Kendall had provoked Camille to do something or if she had done something on her own accord.

“I’m sure Kendall offended Camille’s sensibility in some way,” Carlos said airily. James nodded and stole a piece of bacon off of Carlos’ plate. 

 

All that was on Logan’s mind was getting home, taking a long shower, and having sex with his boyfriend. (“Boyfriend.” He was still giddy about that term.) He stepped out of the sliding doors of the hospital, turning his head side to side to see if he could catch a cab.

And then he saw James, bundled up in a wool coat and scarf, with his back to the hospital.

“James?” Logan called. He turned around and beamed. He walked over to Logan and dipped his head to kiss him.

“I figured you might be tired, so I brought you a gingerbread chai latte. It tastes like Christmas,” James said seriously. Logan gratefully accepted one of the two cups in his hands.

“You waited in the cold to give me a hot drink? You’re so sweet,” Logan said, smiling incredulously. He leaned up to press a lingering kiss on James’ lips. “I love you. Have I told you that yet?” 

“Not yet,” James said happily. “I love you too. Even when you smell a bit like formaldehyde.” 

“Oh, shut up,” Logan laughed. “Let’s go home. I haven’t seen you in, like, three days, and I’ve missed you. Your body, too.” He kissed James again. He’d thought Dak was a pretty excellent kisser, but he had nothing on James Diamond. James was a leisurely kisser and he made kissing fun. 

He made other things fun, too. 

 

“You’ve got mail!” Kendall announced, dropping a couple envelopes into Carlos’ lap. “Isn’t it weird that the mailman knows to get your mail to me?”

“Nah, I don’t think it’s weird,” he shrugged. “Hey, what’re we doing later?”

“I was thinking about taking my sweetie on the town,” Kendall grinned. 

“Aw, thanks, babe,” Carlos grinned up at his boyfriend. Kendall preened and leaned down to press two quick kisses on the corner of Carlos’ mouth. 

“Mmm, you smell good,” Kendall murmured, cupping Carlos’ jaw and lightly pressing his fingers into his neck. He smiled when Carlos let out an appreciative mmm sound and turning his head slightly so that they were properly kissing. 

Logan ran out of his room, holding up two suits in his hands. “Help me! I have to go to this hospital thing tonight and I don’t know what to wear.” When they didn’t stop kissing, he scowled and marched right up to the couch, looming over the two of them.

Kendall lifted his head and looked up at Logan, annoyed. “Can we help you?” Carlos giggled into Kendall’s neck. 

James jogged into the apartment and headed straight for the refrigerator. He grabbed a bottle of orange juice and took a large swig out of it. “Hello, pretty people,” he said cheerfully, loping over to Logan and pressing a kiss onto Logan’s forehead.

“You’re not dressed!” Logan cried. “We have to leave for the party in an hour!”

James leaned back and looked confused. “I’m working tonight. I’m filling in for a friend whose client had to reschedule for a night class. I texted you earlier.”

“What the hell!” Logan snapped. He slid out from under James’ arm, annoyed. “I told you this was an important social function for the hospital’s interns. My boss will be there. My co-workers will be there. You knew this was a big night for me.”

“Why are you so angry?” James asked. He looked at Kendall and Carlos. “Am I missing something?”

Logan gritted his teeth. “I told you about this function a month ago and you said that you would come and support me. This is my last official night as a resident; you have plenty of other classes you can teach. Can’t you just cancel?”

“Let me get this straight: anything I do, it’s not as important as anything you do,” James said slowly. “Because you’re the one who’s going to be a doctor someday, and I’m just a physical trainer.” 

“That’s not what I said. Look, James, we’re late,” Logan said in a strained voice. “I’m sorry. Can we discuss this later?”

James rolled his eyes. “Of course, because we shan’t mess up Dr. Logan Mitchell’s schedule.”

“No, that’s not what I meant,” Logan protested. “It’s just, we haven’t been spending that much time together and I wanted to show you off.”

“Show me off,” James repeated. Logan winced, immediately regretting his choice of words. “So tonight, instead of you taking your boyfriend to a work event, you were planning on taking arm candy. Nice.” Kendall and Carlos gingerly scooted off the couch and slowly started inching towards Kendall’s room. “Don’t move. This conversation is over.” He turned to go. 

“James, come on,” Logan called. 

He turned back around and shrugged. “This is my job, Logan. I have the same kind of pride in my work as you do. If you don’t respect what I do, then I think we should take some time to reconsider what we each want from this relationship.” 

The door slammed shut behind him. 

Carlos chewed on his lip and tried very hard not to look at Logan’s devastated face. 

He cleared his throat. “Well, uh, I better go.”

 

“You clean up well,” an amused voice commented from behind Logan. He sighed, threw back the shot of whiskey he’d been nursing, and turned around to face Dak. It was the first time the two of them had seen each other since Dak had left New York to go shoot a movie in Vancouver, but Logan wasn’t in the mood to be nice.

“I’m not in the best mood,” Logan muttered.

“It’s great to see you again too,” Dak said.

Logan pressed the heel of his palm against his eyes and let out an unsteady breath. “Hi, Dak. How are you doing? Nice suit. My boyfriend and I got into a huge fight and he decided not to come with me to this stupid function, and I would rather be drinking my weight in rum than stand here and make small talk with you.”

Dak laughed and made a little motion with his fingers. Instantly, a fresh faced waiter rushed over, bearing two wine glasses. “Let’s fix that last part,” he said. He turned to the waiter and asked, “Could we possibly acquire two bottles of rum? And we’ll be taking that to go.”

 

He wasn’t sure who made the first move, but one moment, they were drunkenly laughing about how it was possible Dennis the idiot intern managed to light his own waistcoat on fire when there was no source of fire visible at all, and the next moment, someone lunged at the other, and then Logan had one arm wrapped tightly around Dak, gripping him close, sticking his tongue down his throat, as the two of them stumbled into Logan’s room.

 

Logan dragged himself from the depths of his bedroom, certain that he was dying. Curse everyone who decided that today of all days, they would be conspicuously absent from the apartment. Curse his mouth that tasted awful and needed some sort of means of hydration before he suffocated from an enormous tongue. Curse his legs that decided to stop listening to his brain and refuse to move into the kitchen where there was water, the nectar of the gods.

Camille bounced through the door of apartment and started laughing. Logan was slumped against the back of the couch, eyes closed and his hair standing about two feet high in spiky clumps all around his head, looking like, well, death. She set the bags of baking goods and fruit onto the kitchen counter before rushing over. 

“Rough night, babe?” she asked, wrapping her arms around Logan’s shoulders, guiding him around to the front of the couch and gently pushing him down into the cushions. “Sit right there and I’ll bring you some water and aspirin.” 

Logan managed garbled thanks. A moment later, a cold glass of water was pushed into his hands. He opened his eyes and gulped down half its contents before swallowing two of the aspirin. “I think I drank the entire hospital. And I think my brain is about to explode.”

There was a thud from inside Logan’s room. Camille looked around and frowned, “Is James here? I thought he was working today.” When he remained silent, she smacked him across the head. “Logan Hortense Mitchell, who is inside your room?”

He opened one eye to look at her warily. “Nobody?”

Dak chose that moment to step out of Logan’s bedroom, clad in a wrinkled suit, his tie undone, and his hair looking sex-rumpled. “Hey, Camille,” he said easily. Her mouth dropped open.

“Hey, Dak,” Logan said weakly. He stood up, using Camille for support, conveniently keeping her from leaping up and attacking the actor.

“Last night was fun,” Dak smiled. “I gotta go – I have a photo shoot in about an hour and a half.”

“Great, great,” Logan said faintly. He shuffled his way over to him. “Do you need a cup of water or something?” he asked awkwardly. 

“Nah. Call me,” Dak said. Logan nodded, but when he leaned over to kiss him on the mouth, Logan turned away and he ended up kissing his cheek. He huffed a laugh. “See you later.”

Logan waved wordlessly as Dak left. He closed his eyes and braced himself for the impact of Camille’s inevitable wrath.

She didn’t disappoint. “What the fuck are you doing, Logan?”

“I don’t want to talk about last night,” he muttered, rubbing at the loose thread hanging from the bottom of his shorts. 

“Well, obviously we will, because seriously, Logan, what the fuck?”

“I literally just got up and I am not in the mood to deal with this.”

Camille crossed her arms and stared pointedly at him. “Well, you better get ready to deal with it.”

Thankfully, Logan’s phone began to ring.

It was James.

“It’s James,” he said faintly. Camille just threw her hands up in the air and flounced into her bedroom. He hesitatingly slid his thumb across the phone’s screen and brought it up to his ear. “Hi.”

“I’m sorry,” James said immediately. “Yesterday, I was running on two little sleep and too much energy drinks. Can I come over? Can we talk?”

“Sure, sure!” Logan shouted. “I just need to splash some water on my face, but I’ll leave the front door unlocked.”

“I’m coming from the farmers’ market. I’ll see you soon. Love you,” James said softly. 

“Me too,” Logan parroted back. Now he had approximately fifteen minutes to get himself clean and figure out just what the hell he was going to tell James. 

Obviously, all that planning meant nothing, because the moment James walked into his apartment, Logan blurted out “I slept with Dak!”

And that wasn’t the worst part – no, the worst part was seeing James’ face crumble. He went from a hopeful smile to a look of shock to disbelief to pure anger. His mouth disappeared into a thin, straight line.

“Excuse me?”

“I’m sorry, James, I’m so sorry. That night, when we got into that huge fight, I got really drunk at the function, and I bumped into Dak, and –”

“You decided to fuck each for fun’s sake? Or did you use him as an out because you wanted an out from us?” James asked.

“Not from us, never from us,” Logan protested. “I was just so, so drunk. God, I don’t even know how to explain myself.”

“Then don’t,” James interrupted. He inhaled sharply and looked away from Logan. “I, uh, actually have to go somewhere. Um, here. I got these for you and I’ve got no use for them.” He threw a bouquet of daisies and sunflowers onto the floor of the apartment and just left.

 

Like for most things, James headed over to Lucy’s. She was becoming a surprising source of good advice and a pretty good sounding off board, and he really needed someone who would have no problems shooting Logan down.

“I brought lots and lots of wine,” he announced when she opened her apartment door. He hefted up a plastic bag that clinked when he lifted it above his shoulders. 

“Great!” she said immediately. She opened the door even wider and motioned him to come inside. “Are you okay?” 

“Can we have an hour of I-hate-Logan talk?” 

“Sure, of course, babe,” Lucy agreed.

James fished the wine opener out of the utensils cabinet and dropped onto the couch. 

Lucy plodded over with two mugs and sat down next to James. “Do you want to talk about what happened?” she asked hesitatingly. 

“Logan slept with his ex,” he said into his mug of wine. “He just blurted that out and I think I yelled something mean and I came over here.” 

“That son of a bitch,” she swore. 

“We got into a fight the night before and I think I broke up with him or something? And then he bumped into his ex at some hospital function,” James said. He took a gulp of his wine. 

Lucy sat quietly, chewing at her lip. “So did you guys break up?” 

“That’s the question, isn’t it?” he asked bitterly. “Ask me again after we finish two bottles of wine, yeah?”

 

“Coffee’s up,” Lucy called.

James lifted his head up and winced. He felt hammers pounding away at his head and a very persistent twinge on his cheek made its presence known. “I think I’m dead,” he managed as he staggered off the bed.

Bed.

He whipped around, ignoring the slight wooziness that came from moving his head too fast, because what the hell. He was in Lucy’s apartment, in her bed. Wasn’t this exactly what he had yelled at Logan for?

“Oh calm down, you big baby,” Lucy chided as she made her way to James, holding a glass of water and a bottle of aspirin. “I can practically hear you vibrating with worry. You passed out last night after moaning about Logan and his ultimate betrayal, and then when we both realized that you couldn’t possibly spend the night on my couch, I dragged your sorry ass into bed.” 

He gratefully drank half the glass before swallowing an aspirin. 

“James, honey, I think you know what to do,” Lucy said softly. 

“I need to talk to Logan,” he said dully. He sighed and fell back against the pillows. “Would it be immature if I just hid out at your place for about a month or two?”

“Yes. And I need to work, on occasion, and I am not about to be leaving my front door unlocked.”

“Okay, okay. Just, I need to organize my thoughts.”

 

Logan abruptly stood up and shoved his chair back when James walked into his apartment. He looked tired and disheveled, and all Logan wanted to do was go over to him, wrap his arms around him, and stay like that until everything became better.

“We need to talk,” James said in a low voice. 

“Yeah, sure, sit down,” Logan nodded. He started to walk towards James, but stopped when James started backing away. He bit his lip and decided to stay where he was. “What did you want to talk about?” 

“I – I don’t think this is working anymore,” James said, voice cracking. “I love you but I don’t think I can be with you if you don’t respect me.”

“What are you talking about? This is just a minor hurdle in our relationship,” Logan protested.

“The minor hurdle was the whole hospital event thing. You sleeping with Dak is a giant fucking roadblock,” James snapped. He closed his eyes. “I’ve been in love with you since I was in the ninth grade, Logan. And –” 

“Then we can work through this!” Logan insisted. 

“No, I don’t think so,” James said resolutely. “I’m sorry, Logan. Maybe after a little time, I can try to stop being angry with you, but right now I just need to be on my own. I think I put too much stock in you. I thought that by being in a relationship with you, that was all I needed.”

“Wait, wait,” Logan said loudly. He grabbed James hand and clasped their fingers together. “You said that you love me. Why can’t we just stay together and try to work through this?”

James looked at their entwined hands. “Logan, I need someone I can trust. I know, before, I said that I need someone who respects me, but I think the trust issue is the biggest thing. And everytime I close my eyes, I see the two of you together, and I can’t deal with that for the rest of the time we’re in a relationship together. I’m sorry.”

He gently pulled his hand from Logan’s grip and pressed a kiss against Logan’s cheek before leaving.

Logan stared at the door a long time after it closed, and then he stumbled into his room and buried himself within the blankets.


	4. Part Four

Kendall was toweling his hair dry when the bathroom door banged open. He tilted his head up and was greeted by Logan’s utterly panicked face. “Good morning?”

Logan quickly shut the door shut and shout-whispered, “Tell me why Carlos is glaring daggers at me and refusing to pass me the cream cheese.”

“Probably because you cheated on James and broke his heart,” Kendall replied immediately.

“Would you quit with that?” Logan huffed. “I’ve known James for maybe a year and a half. I’ve known you since you were eight and you broke my bike; why are you taking his side?” 

“First of all, you’re a dick. Second, you’re a dick who fell into Dak’s pants, who by the way, didn’t you break up with – sorry, I mean, stop regularly sleeping with – in December? Number three, you treated James like crap,” Kendall matter-of-factly. Logan’s mouth fell open in surprise.

“Seriously what the hell is wrong with you?” Kendall frowned. “You were broken up for all of two hours and then you sleep with Dak? I’ve never seen Camille that angry before.”

“I – what – there’s more to it than that!” Logan spluttered.

Kendall shrugged. “I say, just suck it up and be a man. So what if Carlos doesn’t pass you the cream cheese? Stop being a dick and apologize to James.” He pushed the smaller boy to the side and opened the bathroom door. “Now come out and join the people instead of skulking in the bathroom and trying to catch me naked.” 

Logan stuck out his tongue, “We all know how us trying to be anything more than friends turned out. My mom still won’t let me burn the picture of me and you in matching plaid. I think I’ve officially lost all attraction towards you after you threw up on me senior year in high school.”

“See? You’re sassy again,” Kendall said. “Now be sassy at Carlos and he’ll cool down in no time.” 

It wasn’t quite that easy, because an angry Carlos was a scary Carlos. 

Logan decided to give him a few weeks before attempting to make Carlos like him again.

 

“My mom’s coming to visit!” Kendall announced. He set down his phone next to the cappuccino machine; he’d just gotten a text from her, the usual caps lock business: I’M ON TOUR AND NYC IS MY NEXT STOP. KATIE TOLD ME YOU’RE ALL GROWN UP NOW AND DATING. I’M TAKING EVERYONE OUT TO DINNER AND BE PREPARED FOR ME TO EMBARRASS YOU. LOOOVVEE YOU.

“I don’t think I’ve ever met your mom before,” Lucy commented. Kendall had presumably been addressing anyone left in the coffee shop but since it was just her, wiping down the tables, and Casper, crooning at his guitar, she figured she should be the one to respond. 

“Yeah. She’s this writer and on this world tour thing. I haven’t seen her for almost a year but her next stop is New York,” Kendall said excitedly. “She’s the one who taught me how to bake.”

“Ooh, like hand down family recipes and stuff?”

Kendall snorted. “I wish. She was just so bad at cooking and baking that I had to learn how to work in the kitchen so I could feed myself.”

“Clearly, you have a gift for it,” Lucy said dryly. “Anyway, who’s your mom? Have I read her stuff before?”

He chewed at the inside of his lip before answering. Then he cleared his throat a couple of times. “Um, have you heard of Jennifer Knight?” 

She tilted her head. “The romance writer?” He nodded. “Holy crap, are you serious? I am the biggest fan of your mom’s books,” she breathed.

He gave her a look. Lucy was always wearing some sort of leather and she had about five piercings and she’d just streaked her hair red; she didn’t exactly scream “I have a secret love for trashy romance novels that have a half naked lady swapping spit with a half naked man.”

“Oh shut it,” she said annoyed. “Hey, is it true she’s dating some billionaire?” Before he could answer, though, she held up her hand and said, “wait.” Then: “Logan Mitchell, come over here right now!”

Logan clutched his gloves to his chest and nervously made his way over to the two of them. “Hey, Lucy, how’s it going?”

She leaned over and smacked him across the head. “You cheated on James? What is wrong with you?”

“Hey!” he yowled. “I’m sick of everyone taking his side. We were on a break. He told me that he wanted some space. I got depressed and Dak was, for some reason, just there. I made a bad situation worse, but I’m the injured party here too!”

Lucy just stared stonily at him. When he finished shouting, she asked, “Are you done with the self-pity party? So what are you going to do?” 

“What do you mean, what am I going to do?” he tried to stay angry, but deflated. “He’s not returning any of my calls, Carlos is pissed at me, Camille and Jo judge me whenever they see me, and – and,” his voice broke. “I don’t know what to do,” he moaned. He angrily wiped a hand across his eyes. 

Kendall bit his lip. He hadn’t known Logan was feeling this bad about the whole thing. For one thing, he and James spent at least four out seven days just hanging out, while Logan barely made it twenty-four hours from one shift to another. 

“Hey, man, it’ll get better,” he tried. “Just give James a little more space, okay? You live across from the hall from each other, so it’s going to take him some extra time.”

“Gee, thanks,” Logan said sarcastically. He cleared his throat and rubbed at his nose. “I need a large coffee to go, as hot as you can brew it. I have a forty-two hour shift to go to. Tell James – just tell him I miss him, okay?” He gratefully accepted the paper cup from Lucy, pasted on a smile for Kendall, and headed outside.

Kendall stared at his retreating back. “I feel like we should be doing something.”

Lucy sighed. “I don’t think we have any real right to, yet. It’s only been a week. They both need time to cool off and step back from their immediate reactions.”

“That’s pretty good advice, Lucy,” Kendall said, surprised. “Where did that come from?”

“The Spy and Mr. Hudson by Jennifer Knight,” she smiled. He stuck his tongue out at her.

 

On the other side of the Palmwoods, Carlos was waiting for Jo to finish reading his script. He was bouncing his leg up and down and gazing anxiously at her face for some telling reaction. 

“Wow, Carlos, this is amazing,” she said, flipping the booklet back to the first page. “This is for that Nickelodeon fellowship, right? I had no idea you watched Beasts, that’s one of my favorite shows ever.”

He laughed. “Really? And yeah, I’m submitting in a new episode. What’d you like about it?”

“The whole bit where you’re fleshing out the backstory for the alpha wolf was genius. I always wondered why someone so gorgeous and with such a great smile would willingly abandon his pack on a monthly basis. And I like how the girl character isn’t this inane damsel-in-distress but actually super kickass. Also, the language in your script is awesome. It’s comedic, not at all stilted or awkward –” 

“You have a specs script?” a voice interrupted Carlos and Jo. The two of them looked up into the interested face of Mercedes. “Let me see.”

“You sure you interested?” he asked, slowly handing over his baby.

“I’ve read scripts before,” Mercedes said. “I know what makes a good one and what blows.” She efficiently flipped through it, making hmmm noises and folding down the corners of certain pages. She reached into her purse to pull out a little business card hold-all. “Listen, come meet me tomorrow at 10 AM, and we’ll talk, okay?”

“Talk about what?” he asked in a dazed voice. “Why are you giving me your business card? What’s happening?”

“Oh, get it together, little man,” Mercedes rolled her eyes. “I like what you wrote and I think you have potential. I want to show my father and the head of the productions company your script – is it okay if I take it? Or do you have a copy you’d rather have me take?”

Carlos stood up suddenly. “You’re not kidding, are you? You’re actually offering me an interview about a script I wrote? Yes, yes, take this! I have dozens of other copies. Here, hold on.” He fished a pen out of his pocket and scribbled down his number on a napkin. “I’m Carlos Garcia, and you are an angel.” 

“Don’t let Kendall hear that,” Mercedes smirked. And then she was gone.

Carlos turned to stare at Jo, his jaw on the floor. They grabbed each others’ hands and started jumping up and down, screaming with joy.

 

And because something is going spectacularly right in Carlos’ life, of course the universe would make sure to make sure someone else in their little group was going through something spectacularly awful.

Exhibit A: Logan Mitchell, who is currently propped up on the wall next to the bathroom at the Mexican dive, more than a little drunk and petting the wallpaper. 

“Honey, are you okay?” Jennifer had walked out of the bathroom and was greeted with this image. She went over to Logan and gingerly patted him on the back. 

“James has a shirt like this,” Logan nodded. “It’s all scratchy and waffle-y. I didn’t like it because it made me think of breakfast.”

She made a humming sound. “What happened, sweetie?”

“Everything awful,” Logan cried. He pushed himself off the wall and attempted to stand on his own. When that didn’t work, he rubbed at his eyes and slumped to the floor. “Even the wall hates me. It won’t let me stand on my own.”

“Here, let’s get you some water –”

“It’s too late for that,” he said sadly. “I really screwed things up. James thinks I’m an asshole, Carlos hates me, Kendall can’t stop judging me with his eyebrows, and even Katie texted me mean things.” 

“I’m sure that’s not true,” Jennifer said comfortingly. “You’re a good guy, Logan. I wouldn’t have let you be friends with Kendall if that wasn’t true.”

“I cheated on James,” Logan whispered. “I slept with Dak and it was this momentary lapse thing and I want James back and he’s off being all concentrated and too busy and I don’t know what to do.”

“Logan,” she sighed. “Tell me what you did.”

“I did! I just did!”

“No, I mean, what have you been doing to get James back?” She tutted when Logan gave her a confused look. “I’m a fabulously well-known writer of romance books. Do you know why?”

“’Cuz Kendall makes everyone in the shop read them? Ow!” Jennifer had pinched him.

“No, because I know how to write about relationships and how to write about good men that people fall in love with. I don’t think I’ve ever written about a guy who does nothing but cry and wish he could change things. My men actually get up and talk through their problems with their girlfriends. Have you talked to James at all?”

“No,” he said sullenly. “He’s like this ninja. We live across the hall from each other and I haven’t been able to see him once in the past month.” 

“Do you really fault him for that?” Jennifer asked.

After a beat, Logan let out a sullen “no.” 

“So what can you do to make him talk to you?” 

He scrunched up his face and thought really hard. “I can try to make him cookies? He’s always liked my oatmeal chocolate chip cookies. He said they’re super cinnamon-y.”

Jennifer let out a laugh. “Hon, you’re going to have to think outside the bakery box. Now I’m going to do some shameless advertising on my part, but get my book The Marriage Pact and read page 104. There’s some pretty good ideas on how to get back your man.” 

“Mrs. Knight, you’re super awesome,” Logan grinned and managed to give her a thumbs up before sliding all the way down on the ground and blacking out. 

 

“I have a plan,” Carlos announced. It was about a week after Jennifer had left on her book tour, and about a day after she had texted him asking whether or not Logan had done anything about James yet. Since that was obviously a no, Carlos was taking things into his own hands. “A plan for you to get back your man.”

“Oh, sweetie, no rhyming,” Kendall shook his head and pressed a kiss against Carlos’ temple.

Logan snuffled and poked his head out of the blanket he had sadly rolled himself into after the third time James had ignored him. “You do?” he croaked.

Carlos nodded. “Yep. All you have to do is take a long-ass shower and find a tux. Kendall and I are going to sing and provide the vocals for your beautiful confession of love for James. James really likes singing – I hear him warbling in the shower all the time.” 

“And this is what’s going to convince James to get back together with this sad sack?” Kendall asked skeptically. Carlos reached over and swatted him playfully on the butt.

“Behave, or you get no ass from me for a week.”

Logan let out a strangled cry. “I’m going to be alone for the rest of my life and die in this mound of blankets!”

“I’m going to sing?” Kendall asked in a low voice.

“Well, first, you’re going to get James down to the Palmwoods after closing and then you’re going to sing. With me!” Carlos added. “It’ll be great.”

Kendall pursed his lips. “Do I have any say in the matter here?”

“Not really,” Carlos said cheerfully. “I’m almost a professional playwright now, which means that I am just brimming with amazing ideas. And look! I have the song all ready to go. You have an hour to memorize the lyrics.” 

 

“James,” Kendall wheedled, drawing his name out into two whining syllables. “Just come with me. I don’t want to get ambushed by some crazy yeti.” He stomped his foot. 

James huffed and reluctantly let the blond lead him to the shop. “Kendall, no one is breaking into the Palmwoods,” he said, annoyed. “Your tubs of flour and eggs are safe and sound.” He pushed open the heavy door, intent on proving to the idiot that everything was still in place – and then came to a halt. 

Logan was standing in the middle of the coffee shop, wearing a tuxedo, and holding a rose in hand. The lights had been turned down low and there were candles strewn about everywhere.

“Hi,” Logan said softly. James turned around to demand Kendall what the hell was going on, and then realized that Kendall had sidled off to the side and was nowhere to be seen.

“What’s going on?” James asked. That was apparently the cue, because strumming and crooning filled the air. He bit back a laugh when he saw Kendall, Carlos, and Casper walk slowly from the corners of the shop until they formed a line behind Logan. 

“Here I am, there you are, why does it seem so far? Next to you is where I should be,” Logan sang. “Any kind of guy you want, that’s the guy I’ll be, I’ll turn myself upside down.” He cleared his throat and stepped a bit closer to James. He was serious now. “I want to do that. I want you to be happy. And you can’t be happy with a jerk.”

James sighed. “You weren’t a jerk, Logan. Just…thoughtless. And a little bit self-absorbed. But so am I, and I realize that I may have been a little hard on you about the whole dinner thing.” 

“No, no, you were totally in the right. And I kept thinking how I should be angry that you kept being angry at me. But I’ve missed you,” Logan mumbled. Now he was close enough to play with the buttons on James’ shirt. “I missed waking up next to you, I missed you telling me that I need to stop eating Fruit Loops for breakfast, I missed doing laundry with you, I –” 

“I missed you too,” James interrupted. He grabbed the brunette’s wrist and pulled him over into a hug. “You just need to understand that I’m not in the same career path as you. And that I will always hate Dak with every fiber of my being.”

“Okay,” Logan agreed. “Okay. Can we – are we back together now?” James slowly nodded and tilted his chin up so he could kiss him. 

“Yay!” Carlos cheered, jumping up and down with joy. Kendall laughed and motioned at Casper that they should slip out and give the reunited couple some alone time.


	5. EPILOGUE

Carlos is now one of the most sought after playwrights in the Big Apple, but he remains levelheaded and consults with Katie before selling any one of his scripts, interestingly rotating between action movies to period pieces to the odd children’s TV show episode. He still helps Kendall run the Palmwoods Diner on the side, but, to his boyfriend’s utter relief, has retired from the stuntman gig. His helmet is still his most prized possession, nestled right in between the awards he’s won and childhood mementos. 

He and Kendall are very happy, thank you very much. They’d just celebrated their three year anniversary; Carlos grilled the steaks and Kendall made molten chocolate cakes. They’d been giggling over just how long it had taken them to finally get together (and how Katie could technically be called their fairy godmother) when Kendall got super quiet and grabbed Carlos’ hand. No, he wasn’t having heartburn, shush Carlos, you’re ruining the moment. He took in a deep breath, fumbled with something in his pants pocket, tumbled off the couch – and then just stayed there. On the ground, with one knee up, and a very earnest expression on his face.

To this day, Carlos will swear, on his helmet, that he let out a very manly scream and that he didn’t fling himself onto Kendall hard enough to slam him onto the floor. 

(They still got engaged.) 

James became a superstar of sorts after the release of Paperback Hero, what with his insanely long eyelashes and that ridiculously endearingly shy smile and those spectacular biceps; he refuses to pull down the framed screenshot of a blog that gleefully wrote down, verbatim, the effusive praise and blatant adoration Logan managed to sputter to an interviewer at the red carpet premiere of the movie. 

In ordinary news, Logan and James just bought their second house, this time in northern California, even though Logan barely has time as it is, what with him having gone into private practice and sharing godfather rights with Kendall over Jo and Camille’s baby girl. 

After Logan and James decided to move in together, Kendall and Carlos realized it was high time they did as well, which finally convinced Camille to move the rest of her stuff into Jo’s, seeing that she nearly lived at Jo’s anyways. Actually, this is how it went: Logan and James announce at the Palmwoods one night that they’re moving in together. Lucy raises an eyebrow and says “really? Congratulations on acting like mature adults.” Carlos shrieks with joy, bounces over to James and Logan, and hugs them both. Kendall purses his lips and asks, “You guys are going to move into James’ apartment, right?” Camille rolls her eyes and strides up to Kendall to slap him across the face. Jo laughs and tugs her girlfriend back towards her and asks quietly, “do you want to move in with me then? The left side of my bed just opened up.” Camille thinks about the proposition, nervously bites her lip, and nods enthusiastically. 

Lucy learned how to play guitar from Casper, finally ticking off one of her New Year’s resolutions. She most definitely punches up his Thursday performances at the Palmwoods. She and Casper have made a YouTube channel and put up weekly uploads of their coffeeshop performances. So she quit her job as barista and waitress, to Kendall’s chagrin, as she was one of the best, so that she could focus on writing and producing music. Out of everyone else, this was the most unexpected development. 

An even more unexpected development is that Lucy and Mercedes had become inseparable. This, coupled with Kendall’s friendship with Casper, and the marriage of his mom to her dad, makes Kendall go on frantic, long runs through the city with Camille. (After the entrance of Logan into the group’s lives, Camille has become the unwitting to-go girl for venting and advice-doling.) 

Mercedes and Katie are now the co-founders and co-heads of Green Knight Pictures, an offshoot production agency from Arthur’s all-encompassing Griffin Industries. When Casper asked whether or not the name of the agency would be too obscure for most people, Katie just shrugged and said “then we’ll make such kickass movies that everyone won’t even care about the meaning of the name.” 

Mercedes and Casper are as secure as ever in their relationship. (Kendall really doesn’t understand how they work as a couple.) They don’t really have plans to marry; they had considering eloping at one point, but then an impromptu crisis at work kept Mercedes at the office for five days straight. By the time everything was resolved, they’d tabled the discussion and had just splurged on a ridiculously expensive weekend in the Hamptons with the group. 

Jennifer and Arthur got married a year and two months after she introduced Arthur to Kendall. (The initial meeting wasn’t the greatest, and it wasn’t until Arthur swore that he would do his utmost best to keep Jennifer as happy as she was then until her dying day, that Kendall reluctantly accepted the fact that Arthur was now a fixture in the Knight household.) Mercedes completely took over the bridemaids’ planning duties and forced Kendall to match the bridesmaids and wear a gleaming dark purple suit. They are blissfully happy after the wedding, and stay so right up until they’re old and gray, even when dealing with Mercedes and Kendall, who wow them every family gathering with their incessant sniping at each other and spectacular prank wars, partially because of the calming presence of Casper and the utterly adorableness that is Carlos, and partially because Katie and her threats of teaming up with Arthur and Jennifer to make their lives particularly horrible.


End file.
